Hey there internet! I almost didn't see you there! Yeah, college apps snuck up on me and took away my free time for a while, but thankfully my essay writing is almost done, and I can finally hang out with you more often! Isn't that exciting?
Haha hello there. I finally have something of note to post here! Whatdya know? :D
I wrote this a while back, and I thought it would be too self-promoting to post it, but people who have read it have told me its an interesting commentary on depression and drug use (though to be honest that was not my intention when I wrote it ;) ), so I wanna hear your thoughts--critique it, share your thoughts, tell me a story. Consider this the beginning of a [potentially] very intriguing conversation.
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It's caught me now.
I don’t know what tipped it off about my location. I covered my escape hole; I swept my tracks; I haven't bathed in forever, lest someone be able to hone in on my skin's scent and give me away. I left my home and family, and faked my own death. Hell, not even my mate knows where I am.
So how did it know? How did this monster find me? I tried throwing dust at it, to skew its senses and inhibit its progress. I took cover under every object that would allow me the room, and avoided the light at all times. I slept as little as possible and kept watch for many a tedious hour, waiting anxiously for each opening to move farther ahead. And yet, this thing keeps detecting my presence with every move. It's got me in its sight, and on the run.
If only I’d listened to her. My mate, she told me I shouldn’t do this. Every day over breakfast, we’d have this argument. You see, I’ve always dreamed of escape. A wretched old hole like that was no place to raise a family, and no place to be proud of. Why, you could even do better by living in a grimy sewer pipe with the rats, and that’s truly saying something. But the idea never caught on with her. “You’ll get hurt,” she would always moan, “and just think of the example you’d set for the children!” Now I love my mate more than anything, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes, you just have to do what feels right. And what would my kids think if I just sat back and let my family live in fear and squalor?
So I had to make my move. I couldn’t risk my kids’ lives by sending them out to fend for themselves in this intimidating landscape, and I knew my mate wouldn’t join me in a million years. I snuck away while they all slept and set out all on my own to blaze our trail, and to make sure my family had every advantage available in the end. What a stupid idea that turned out to be.
It’s a wonder that this creature can even move, really. As I scramble across this open plain, I sometimes turn around and watch it lumbering behind me, shaking the ground beneath our feet with each step. It’s massive, and probably weighs more than fifty of me. It’s covered in matted, gray fur that betrays its old age. Its feet are wooly, too, and its claws are pathetically short. I’ve been amongst its ilk a while, and I know a fearsome beast when I see it. They have razor sharp teeth, quick wits, and eyes that could cut through the darkest of nights. This obese animal, however, is nothing to be afraid of, especially considering my physical fitness and agility. I can’t remember ever seeing it standing, let alone running. Not even threat of a tsunami could prompt this beast to move from the light it basks lazily in. But, somehow, this animal has defied the odds and kept me in flight. It’s pitiful, really, that it can compete on my level. I dread to think what that must say of me, that I’m comparable to the sorriest example of its species. But now is not the time to mourn my dignity. I need to swallow my pride and keep going, or else there may no longer be a “me” to compare to this race of behemoths.
I’ve managed to keep a fair distance from it for a long time. The brute’s never less than the length of its body from me, and I haven’t tired yet from the chase. But now I’ll admit I’m a little afraid. Now, when I look up from my feet, I can no longer tell where I am. I’ve never been to this strange and frightening place before, and for all I know, my attacker could know every twist and turn perfectly. There’s no way I could evade it here. And yet, there it is, standing between the world I knew and this gleaming hell in front of me. I have no hope of a quick return now. So I scamper, and I squeeze through cracks I didn’t ever know I could fit through, and I try to stay as far from this animal as possible.
But that has proved more difficult than I thought. This hellhole is full of blades and razor sharp points that are always too close for comfort. And the plastic glowing mounds I see, the few matte surfaces where I can be sure of my footing, seem to trigger everything around me to move in hypnotic, perilous circles, cutting faster and faster with each misstep. And yet when I venture outside of these circles, I am completely exposed. Everything in this mad environment is glossy and gleaming, and so there are always dozens of reflections of me glinting off every surface, telling the beast exactly where I am and confusing me to no end. Thankfully, its wits are about as dull as its claws, and the thing can’t tell which of my images is the real me. I can’t bank on that lasting forever, though, and I’m beginning to see the futility in trying to get out of this mess.
But at last I think I see—Yes! I found an opening in the wall next to me, straight up ahead. I can see rough wall on the far side of it, and I know it won’t see me in any mirrors there. In fact, that might even be my exit from these stony walls that have trapped me my whole life. If I can just make it around this corner, I’ll be free at last, and I can help my children and mate escape—
I was right. It did know every twist and turn here, perfectly. And it turned me towards a dead end. All I see in front of me are two monolithic walls, conveniently meeting where I hoped there would be an exit. But there’s nowhere behind me to run—the monster stands there, a third wall, trapping me for good.
I was stupid, and I thought I could outsmart the thing in its own domain, so I tried to prove myself superior. I’d gone for broke, leaving my family in the hole I longed to remove them from. I was too proud to see the joy in my life there—the life that now flashes before my eyes, blinding me with tears as I frantically search for a gap to slip through, a crack to squeeze through, anything to save me. But it’s crushed my tail beneath its giant paw; his glowing eyes and menacing teeth are moving closer; everything around me is starting to go dark.
It’s caught me.
Forgive me.
