Nice Guy Syndrome, Manic Pixie Dream Girls and Other Fairytale Characters

There's a few tropes that have been bothering me lately. I don't believe in Manic Pixie Dream Girls, the plight of Nice Guys or the Friendzone. They simply don't exist. Now, I have never been one to hate on the beliefs of others, and if it stopped there, I wouldn't mind those who do believe in these things. The problem with these ideas and concepts, however, is that it never stops there. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the Internet, I am now going to put my two cents in and try to help put a stop to this nonsense.
Ye denizens of the internet might have heard about at least two of my exes, as I have posted about them here before, but there are many more where they came from. Specifically, I have 10. Six of them left me just as the honeymoon phase wore off, and I left four of them when I noticed some disturbing trends I should've seen in the other six. When asked why they wanted to be with me, any of these men could've given you the same answer: "She surprises me and takes me on adventures and excites me, because she's shown me a whole new world. I'm a different person with her." Sound familiar? Yep. I've become a real-life Manic Pixie Dream Girl. There's one crucial difference between me and that mythical creature, though - I'm a real human being, and it is not. I do, in fact, have my own life, and do not exist solely for the purpose of fulfilling the dreams of some man (or woman, or gender-fluid being, or anyone else) who's too stuck in a rut to find his own way to reach them himself. I have goals for myself, and I have needs and desires that deserve filling too. I knew all of this, of course, but nobody thought it wise to tell any of the men who've fallen for me to any degree about this personality quirk of mine (specifically that I have one that operates independently from theirs).
Now I want to make one thing clear: I bear no resentment against any of these young men. I have learned a lot from these relationships, and I still bear genuine affection towards all of them. They were young, and probably had no idea what their brain was making them do as they were doing it; in fact, they'll probably grow out of this soon, and thank goodness for that. Rather, my resentment is directed against the industries that popularize this trope, and have taught us that this behavior is okay.
Hollywood has made a great deal of money telling young people that relationships like the ones I've had are normal. They're quick and adventurous; they treat one partner as a commodity, like a pill to be taken to cure the doldrums of normalcy; and most importantly, the other, non-commodified partner is the only one that needs to reach any level of growth, fulfillment or satisfaction in the relationship. Likewise, I blame Hollywood for at least turning Nice Guy Syndrome into a contagion that can't be contained. It seems to me that movies like 500 Days of Summer, Garden State and Some Like It Hot have only fed those who are predisposed to blaming things that are nobody's fault on something to ease their frustration. And those people are no fun when fed.
These people are the Nice Guys that Nice Guy Syndrome is named for. The capitalization should give you a hint as to a key flaw in their character: they're not nice guys at all. These Guys Who Are Not Really Nice believe that if you put enough kindness coins into a machine somewhere and pull a lever, a girlfriend (or boyfriend, or partner) should magically pop out of the slot at the bottom. These are also the people who believe in the Friendzone, where evil, cruel objects of their affection throw them when they simply don't feel like being fair. All this bunk is built on a simple principle: that love is a thing to be bartered for or earned, not grown, and that people are computers waiting for some magic code - and that everything revolves around whoever's sitting in the chair of the "I."
But we're not. We're all flesh bags full of water and feelings, and we don't follow romantic algorithms, and we aren't easily fooled by false kindness in those who pursue us. We have complicated thoughts, and we choose romantic partners on a larger basis than how many points others have racked up. Sometimes, that basis doesn't even make sense to us, consciously, but it exists as it is for a reason, and that reason, for all intents and purposes, is to spice things up a bit, and to increase the potential of producing healthy babies. And your closed-minded, selfish worldview isn't gonna cut it in the real world anymore, Mr. Not-So-Nice Guy. Do you know why?
Because there's one less Manic Pixie Dream Girl in this world.
Yep.
I quit.
Go find your adventure or tag along with mine, but don't expect me to live to make you happy.
Because, quite frankly, I have met too many of you, and I'm done.
*Drops microphone, flips table, walks away...*